following the leader

moving in with someone you love is a big deal right?

it's not something you take lightly, or nonchalantly, or something that you just jump into. please, someone tell me i'm not alone in thinking this.

i love him, and i know he loves me. but love isn't a guarentee all the time. i mean, i hate saying it, but he's left before. he tells me he won't but if it happens i'll go on with life. ask any of the people who were there for me when he left last time and they'll tell you i won't move on.

they'll tell you i slip into a depression again
they'll tell you i'll lose 20 pounds from not eating for a week
and that i'll gain 30 from not caring about anything after that
they'll tell you that i'd lose my drunken mind at a party again
and that they'd have to consol me as i sob on the bathroom floor
they'll tell you that while i was with him, and that other guy as well, that i was thinking of you
and only you

they'd tell you that not even they, my best friends and comfort in the world, not even they could save me this time.

so please consider this as a big deal, because it is.

blahhh

love
-courtneydanielle